I got a new hair cut and colour yesterday which I think I love. I tackled the overgrown yard and got some boxes for packing. Tonight I'm meeting a friend for dinner and introducing her to Ethiopian cuisine. Somehow this has put me in a great mood despite the fact that my email is down and it has been since last night.
Here's something I've noticed since being in Toronto. If there is a double door in a public space and one of the doors is propped open and the other is shut everyone will try to squeeze through that one open door. This usually stops cold one way of traffic. As opposed to OPENING THE DOOR THAT IS CLOSED AND WALKING THROUGH IT so the traffic flow can keep moving people wait until there is a break in the oncoming traffic to rush in. We're all in a hurry and I get that. Does opening a closed door really slow you down that much? Doesn't waiting add a few seconds to your commute?
Case in point, I was heading into the subway station (I find it worse in the subway stations!) and people were coming out to get a bus. The door on my farthest left was closed and the one closest to me was open. I was stuck on the far side of the open door and people began streaming out blocking me from the closed door. I looked at the people. I looked at the closed door. I looked at the people. I looked at the closed door. People were looking at me like I was a freak. Needless to say I barreled a few people down so I could get into the station, which I will admit was not my best behavior and it probably didn't make my point too well but I felt better.
I'll use a closed door whenever possible to keep foot traffic flowing and I get some of the weirdest looks when I do. Like I've broken some unwritten rule. Or that it shows that I'm not from around here. Maybe they're surprised that it works/not locked or that my eye/hand coordination is that good?
For the love of god, people, a closed door doesn't mean an unusable door. You're arms/hands aren't broken. Be considerate. Keep foot traffic flowing. Don't make people wait for you just because your a lazy asshat. Try using the fucking closed door for once.
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Tricot Machine : L'ours : Tricot Machine
So I'm slooooowly making this news public as I can't believe it's actually happening. No, I'm not pregnant as some people have assumed. Paul and I are moving back to San Francisco. I'm still in shock after almost three weeks of knowing. It happened so fast my head is still spinning. And I'm having a hard time processing it. And the crazy part? Paul is going back to The Chronicle. This is how it went:
1) Paul received an email from The Chron saying that they were having a hard time hiring and wondering if Paul knew anyone. 2) Paul said (after talking to me) that he's interested if the price is right. 3) The Chronicle gave him an offer he couldn't refuse.
I know he left his job because he hated it, but it seems he may be going back to something that is more promising. Paul's excited about going from a managerial role of chasing timecards to going back to a systems engineer hacking away on tricky computer things. Paul has to be back at work June 2nd.
I'll be coming some time after that. Late June, maybe. July, more likely. Or early August. Don't know yet. It all depends on the how/what/when of selling the house. I don't know what I'll be going back to. I'm sad to be leaving the community I've built here. I'm now realizing what a big community it is. I've been very lucky. I've been able to work part time and that has done fine in supplementing our income and in turn allowed me to be more social. I've meet some incredible people who have inspired me to no end. I'm definitely a different person than when I arrived here almost three years ago. Honestly I don't want to go back being the person I was. And I know that will take some work on falling into old habits. On the other hand, I am very stoked to be going back. The foghorns they have been calling me since I've left and their pull was unavoidable.
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Led Zeppelin : Kashmir : Latter Days: Best Of Led Zeppelin, Vol.2
I've been over analyzing my navel gazing lately and have become post shy. Why? Can't say. Actually that's not entirely true. When I start to post I just kinda freeze up. Like now. I'm staring blankly at my computer screen. And just blink.
because I started a six week pole dancing class tonight.
I guess I should thank my friend who is now an instructor at this studio and convinced me to drop into her Level 1 class. I had a hard time pulling up my pants for three days after that. And it wasn't because I felt so sexy I couldn't keep my clothes on. It was from using muscles I haven't used since I was a kindergartner flopping around on the monkey bars. Who knew I would be wishing that I held onto those skills as an adult? I must have had some sort of sort term memory loss otherwise I don't think I would have signed up.
Anyways, for the curious: I was feeling the fun, just not the sexy. Ask me again 5 weeks.
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Billie Holiday : I Get A Kick Out Of You : Compact Jazz: Billie Holiday
TO's budget is going to hell in a hand basket and the thing that has caused the biggest stir is the proposed cuts to the TTC. I rely heavily on the TTC as I don't own a car, nor do I want to. Without going into some spiel about property tax versus gas/driving/car tax and who's getting the short end of the stick, I'm just going to say that I'm disappointed that such a "world class city" is/was willing to cut services to such a vital city service. I compare it to chopping off a leg or poking out an eye. Basically you can survive but it hurts like hell. Anyways, the kicker was that TTC created a survey and wanted to hear from their ridership. They asked us if we'd rather:
a) chop off our leg b) poke out our eye c) drive a car
This survey was seriously biased. But I took it anyway. I wanted them to know what my TTC is to me. However the unfortunate part was that the comment section allowed for something like 80 words. How lame! Thankfully the Torontoist came out with their own survey asking broader questions but followed suit of the original. I answered that as well. After the deadline, Torontoist published the results of their survey and gave the data to the TTC. They also pulled quotes from some of the surveys and I feel proud to say that my quote made the list out of over 2,000 participants. My quote made "The Bad" list by finishing the sentence "My TTC is..." with "currently being treated like a expendable service and that makes me sad."
Sep. 17th, 2007 @ 12:06 pm
Two very LA looking dudes (READ: scruffy and unbathed) tumble out of the back door onto the patio from the restaurant for a smoke. Clearly displaying that they already inhaled their fare share of flaming margaritas. As they try and light their cigs from the tea lights on the tables they start talking serious stuff.
Dude #1 (wearing a WOOL toque in August): "These are going to kill us some day."
Dude #2 (more drunk than #1): "Huh? Sunday??!"
As they struggle with lighting their cigs they have some conversation that couldn't be understood. Finally, they successfully light their sticks and start walking towards the parking lot. One can only assume that they were still talking about the seriousness of smoking and their health. We hear the last comment before they disappear into the lot.
Dude #1: "We're going to die of cancer of the apocalypse."
On August 8th I found myself in the Toronto International airport heading to Los Angeles for a testimonial shoot (I do infomercials for a living. I like my job. Don't hate me.) I woke up with a feeling that the day wasn't going to be a normal day. Mostly because I had to travel for a bunch of hours and then immediately show up to the hotel and be ready to work until late with a time change. I was up and out of the house way before the sun came up so I could be checked into my flight by 6:30am. ( The entry is long but I think worth a read. )
Aug. 20th, 2007 @ 10:43 pm
TORONTO/AM 640 TORONTO - An armed standoff came to a peaceful end in the Pape and Danforth area early this morning. It started with an armed robbery at a convenience store. The suspect and a friend then fled to a nearby home. ETF and Toronto police surrounded the house for about an hour until the two men gave themselves up. Police recovered what's believed to have been a shotgun from the house.
All the ETF and police vehicles and ambulances were parked on the street next to our house. We had the windows opened and the sound of radio communication woke me up. Me being nosy neighbor I had to see what was going on. When I saw a dude in full gear (fatigues, helmet, vest and rifle) I decided to go outside. But then I was too scared to get any closer.
I thought I would throw a quick post up and say "I'm not dead, just really quiet" and a prompt jumped on my screen from LJ asking if I wanted to recover a post that was in their auto-saved archives. Since I couldn't remember actually writing anything in the last million years I said yes. And this is what came up:
*****
[This] is as good a time as any to start posting again.
Things have been a bit tough for me lately. And I don't even know where to start. Maybe with my visit back to SF? That was the hardest trip I think I've ever taken. Does that place draw you in like a moth to a flame. Seriously. And that was even with being bedridden with the flu for a solid week. When I left TO at the beginning of March it was a fucking frozen tundra. When I arrived in SF it was 24C with a stunning blue sky. For the week and a half I had left I had a great time, although I didn't see half the people I wanted to see and I felt very harried trying to connect with the people that I was going to be able to see. (Damn you stupid flu!) When my friend dropped me off at the airport, I started crying the minute I turned to walk into the airport until late into the evening. At the time I really wanted to not come back. Or come back only to throw shit in a suitcase and hightail it back. I mean I still want to go back. But for some reason I feel really bad about feeling that way. Like I'm letting myself down or that I failed relocating myself to a brand new place. I'm not that kind of person who cries for their mama at the first glimpse of loneliness. And I'm far from lonely here. I've got a boatload of friends. And I think they're pretty awesome. I've had to churn this feeling over for a bit and I think I miss the history. I don't have a real history with any of the friends here or any connection with this city yet. I do feel a bit of an outsider still. But I'm trying not to stay at home crying in my beer. I'm getting out, getting to know people and making a name for myself.
****
And that's where I stopped so many moons ago. Maybe because I realized I was whining just bit. Or maybe because I was just too blah to continue. Things HAVE been tough for me emotionally and I let myself get wrapped up in it. Which I think sometimes one needs to. You just gotta let the sadness and the hurt and the disappointment take you away like a proverbial Calgon bath.
While I was soaking I realized that the reason I felt so down was because I've really isolated myself. I realized that I haven't made myself Canadian. As a random side note, people have told me I sound more Canadian that my Canadian spouse (I chalk that up to being an old thespian). But to Canada I don't exist as a person. I'm a nobody. I work for a U.S. company paying me in U.S. dollars, I applied for my Social Insurance number MONTHS after I was able to and I don't have any Canadian accounts or credit cards in my name so I don't have any type credit history.
Isolating myself was incredibly easy thing to do. It was so easy I didn't even realize I was doing it. I'm pretty sure that isolation was the root of my discontent. I was lazy and I did nothing to change my attitude until it was too late (emotionally). I have plans to change that. I think that I'm back to my normal self. And I think I'm ready to really make this move thing work. I think.
I do know one thing and that I'm in a much better mood. So that counts for something.
Jun. 21st, 2007 @ 07:48 pm
Last night I dreamt that a dark hooded figure came into my house and told my husband and I to leave because he was going to blow it up. No explanation. Just going to blow it up. I didn't have to hear more. I started leaving but my husband started asking him why. I don't remember the exact dialogue as the dream is fading from me now. I told him not to ask why but to run. As I left the house through the back door, through the lush garden, exiting out the back fence. I thought this doesn't feel like my house. As Paul and I were standing looking at the house from the safety of the street corner I noticed we lived in an American-style Colonial. Everything else about the neighborhood was the same. Then the house just exploded. It was amazing to see. It was a very contained and very bright explosion. I felt a relative amount of calm. Maybe because I knew it wasn't really my house. I don't have a back door, a real back yard, a garden or fence. And the style is definitely not Colonial.
I wonder what it meant?
Feb. 21st, 2007 @ 09:33 am
I finally gone and done it. I bought a plane ticket for a wee visit to San Francisco. I'll be arriving in the glorious Bay Area on Wednesday, March 7th, at 11:20am. Then departing for Toronto on March 25th at 11:05am. I can't believe I finally was able to do it. Now I just need to tell my friends I'm coming. Hopefully they haven't forgotten about me and want to hang out.
Feb. 6th, 2007 @ 11:49 pm
So I guess winter is finally here. Let me just look out the window a bit.
*sigh*
The In-Laws were in town (arriving Christmas Eve and leaving this morning) and I'm trying desperately to get back in to my groove. The visit went well. I'm a wee bit hesitant but willing to say that I actually had a good time and was slightly sad to see them off so early.
But... see there's lots of chocolate in the house, blogs that haven't been read and approximately 100 emails that aren't spam I need to get to and I can't procrastinate taking care of these things if In-Laws are still here. Not to mention the work project I need to start and the one I need to finally put to bed. *whistles and shuffles feet*
Wouldn't you agree that the week between Christmas and New Year's is always the hardest? And I'm finding it more so since I'm working from home. Trolling the internet and clicking on every link I could get my mouse to I found my favourite Jim Carrey skit from "In Living Color." Yes I know, if I wanted to find this skit all I needed was youtube. Well I guess I wasn't that interested in finding it. But I think it helped my post-Christmas blues and I'm glad I stumbled upon it. I leave it here for you to enjoy while I go eat more chocolate,'k?
So yesterday's event wasn't so much of an interview. Unless you consider being asked two questions and showing some ID an interview. The questions were:
1) Do I have any dependents in or out of Canada? 2) Have I ever been denied entry into Canada or been deported because of a crime or other reason?
Voila! Signed on the dotted line. That's was it. In 6-8 weeks I'll get my actual card. Then I can apply for Social Insurance, get on OHIP and most importantly travel freely in and out of Canada. Whee! I spent more time traveling to/from Scarborough and waiting for my number to be called than I did in the actual "interview." I really thought they would have asked some questions about my relationship with Paul, scrutinize our marriage license or SOMETHING! Oh, well. I'm not complaining.
Unfortunately today I'm feeling a wee bit under the weather. It started last night at dinner. I guess I really stressed myself out with not knowing how the interview was going to be handled and all that stress I had built up not knowing really has taken a toll on me. But I can't collapse yet. I have to get through the DKC meeting tonight. Hopefully I'll have a voice still by this evening.
x-posted in my knitting journal
Dec. 14th, 2006 @ 08:28 am
My permanent residency interview is in less than two hours. I already have clammy hands and I have to pee like every 10 minutes. Eeep!
Dec. 13th, 2006 @ 02:15 pm
Received a letter from Immigration Canada that states that processing of my application has been completed and that the Immigration Centre will call me concerning my status. The letter also seems to indicate there will be an interview as well, but doesn't go into much detail or give a timeframe.
Extremely excited but a wee bit annoyed. Let's get this over with already!!
EDIT: Okay. Maybe I should watch what I wish for. My interview is set for Wednesday, December 13th at 4:30pm. Eep!
Dec. 5th, 2006 @ 04:51 pm
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